that's an acceptable place to lick
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
