I just saw a hot homeless man
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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