we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
