wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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