In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize