I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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