ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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