I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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