I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
