random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
