just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
