i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
