okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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