im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
