Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
