every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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