I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
