I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
