Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
