Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
