True but thats because hes a fetus.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
