i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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