I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
