The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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