They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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