she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
