Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
