Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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