you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
