i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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