Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
even my farts smell like vagina
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Randomize
