Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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