Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
