is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
