$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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