Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
