I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
