remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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