we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
