ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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