we're blogging at a bar
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
barbara walters just said penis...
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Randomize
