i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
either way he was missing a nipple.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
