I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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