fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Randomize
