we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
