If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
