when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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