It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
my poor anus
false alarm, still single
Randomize
