Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
