Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
