So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
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