she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
