I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
What a fucking waste of an outfit
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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