Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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