Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
