yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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