Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
