i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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