you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
