I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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