First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
