An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
