she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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