My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
