am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
